Blog Entries

these are blog entries about my daily life, vents, or straight up just rambles or thoughts on certain topics. one day ill probably make a seperate page for essays on topics im passionate about. until then indulge in letting yourself into my very medicated and undeveloped brain ^_^.


restless and agitated
i have been fighting sleep as if im afraid to lose to it. sleep is my antipsychotic and ive been skipping my meds (metaphore i think). i havent been skipping my actual meds, i think its important to stay medicated but i digress. i havent been treating myself as nicely as i should be, missing out on the self care i need badly. i find myself dissociating more often then i usually do. its hard to keep my hands on the reigns when you cant even see inches in front of you. theres so many things to worry about and so little things to cherish. ive been trying to amplify the little things that make me happy but even those can be ruined by impulsive thoughts. ive reconnecred with a couple people i was close to in the past. sure that feels good, it would feel good for anyone, but it shouldnt be that easy. it hasnt been more than a year and ive been so easily forgiven. that isnt very healthy, for me at least. it just scares me that theres a possibility their frienship with me is a relapse, a bump in the road. i need to stop getting so self depricating, i feel as if im setting a bad example. goodbye......

you've reached the end of the road